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Yeah... I am so happy man today.. My sis gave birth to little angel today... I am still thinking how she looks... eagerly waiting to see her picture.. Cant sleep..Cant eat... excited... Happy.. No more words...

Help me with cute names :)

As the months turn into weeks and weeks turn into days,
there is some kind of thinking that has started to take its rounds in my mind.
Few more months and I am yet another year older.
And this time, into my mid twenties.
I am not sure if everyone undergoing this phase of their life experience the same, but this time,
for me it is getting a bit tough to think that I am indeed getting old.
I have already started thinking "Hari is getting old"! I now realise that there are younger people than me walking around on Mother earth. A younger generation and already, there seems to be a generation gap between me and the young folks. Now, edging towards the later part of the glorious period of any individual, as I look back into my past and try to analyse all that has happened in this short span, I realise that there were times when I had been free of any worries or hassles. My only ones used to be to win a fight over my elder sister, getting an pair of basketball shoes from my mom, trying to acheive more in Basketball, become the super duper basketball hero of India. Small things that used to mean a lot to me.

As I look at my long list of friends (Orkut say I have 385 friends), I stop to wonder if I am really doing the right thing in having so many contacts or acquaintances. It seems as if there is some strange pair of eyes always following you. Now with social networking sites and the urge to notify your list of anything and everything that you do, I dont think there is any privacy at all in one's life.

As I think about the role of friendships that have been a part of me and my life, I start to realise so many things. There have been people who have been selfish, who have not understood me. Those whom I had considered very close have betrayed me and gotten the better of me, just for the fact that I let them to, in the name of 'friendship'.

Some of them whom I have considered close to me haven't been the best as I believed them to be. And also, now I realise that those whom I have lost contacts with, are the ones whom I miss and will miss throughout the rest of my life. Those whom I dint have the slightest idea of getting to know have been the ones who have made me smile when I cried, who always stand behind me in my happiness and tough time.

At times, or rather, always, I wonder why I am into this career. Is this what I always wanted to be? What happened to all my childhood dreams? Those early morning basketball, those big tournament, those dream National games, those beautiful state team , those beautiful All India University team, those million memories that were washed ashore in this ocean of life. The dreams that meant so much to me had been brutally murdered and laid to wither. Not that I am not doing good in what I am doing now. But the sense of satisfaction is one that this life lacks in terms of career ( still i love my job ). Something which I always yearned to do has been a dream and is going to stay a dream. To pursue the dream at this point of my life is gonna be tough and sometimes even scary and that's the reason why somethings are better left unaccomplished.

There are so many things now that I have started to ponder upon. Things that have become opinionated. Starting to analyse each and everything that I have done and will be doing. I realise there are so many limitations to my life and the way I want to live. I cant take my own decisions and I cant lead my own life. But I still have to live it.

I sometimes feel lonely and insecure. Even with the hundreds of loved voices that would always be more than willing to lend a ear to my woes. But the thought of talking to friends over the same things, moaning the same laments is something that I have started hating. As I think of all this and more, I badly want to relive my past, the past that is slowly and steadily drifting away from me.

I know I have got the best of life and also the worst of life, as I try hard to figure the hidden meaning of this precious thing called LIFE. All I can tell myself is 'Everything happens for a reason' as I start gathering those lost little pieces of ME.

'I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference. '

From "You Come Too", 1916

The Road Not Taken
by: Robert Frost

Yeah.. At last another milestone in Career... Officially Promoted..

What I have gained:
More work,
More problems,
More responsibility,
and more.....

What I have lost:
Sleep,
Peace,
Happiness,
and more..

Still loving it.. yahooooooooooooooo... :)